But He's Been Here Forever

In my guild, we have a long-time member, I'll call him Mark. He's a good and friendly person, but he's definitely not officer material. Passive-aggressive, flaky, self-centered. Mark's been pining for officership for years.

I haven't been in officership for a while (because I've been raiding more diapers than instances), but I was surprised to learn of Mark's recent promotion to officer.

An officer friend chatted me up:

"Hey, how you doing?"

"Good. So what happened with Mark?"


"What do you mean?"

"I couldn't help but notice that he's an officer now."


"So, what happened?"


"Well, he's been here forever…"

Oh… crap. Continue reading But He's Been Here Forever

Bad Character Names

You've got a new character for a big massively multiplayer game, so you need a name. How do you come up with a good name? Good question! I might write about that another time.

This is a list of what people do wrong. It was written with both a genero-fantasy setting and a standard English keyboard in mind.

(Higher on list is less bad, lower on list is less good.)

  • Generic names: Dragon. Angel. Valor.
  • "Foreign" Language words: Grande. Ikimasho. (Foreign to you is not foreign to all–you'd laugh at a character whose name was "Big" or "Let's go!")
  • Jammed words: Dragonangel. Burningcat.
  • Meta: An undead named Rotting. A tauren named Beefcake.
  • Out of game context (OOC): Chuck. Spaceship.
  • Unoriginal: Legolas. Drizzt.
  • Jammed and meta: Deathknight.
  • Jammed and OOC: Chucknorris. Brucewillis. Captainplanet.
  • Jammed and meta and OOC: Undeadfred.
  • Jammed and talking to the reader: Ucantseeme. Pwnyou. Imdeath. (Personally, I always choose the most obtuse nickname possible for these kind of names: "See you later, Imd." "My nickname is supposed to be Death <cry>")
  • Unoriginal and late: Llegolass. Driiiiiiizzt.
  • Unoriginal and late and jammed: Elflegolas. Deathknightt.
  • Prescription drug name: Propecia. Celexa. (Although given enough time, pharma could eliminate the genero-fantasy namespace)
  • Swapped characters: Dragòn. (previously discussed: Text-based game, yet I cannot type your name.)
  • Unoriginal and swapped: Lêgolâs.
  • Unoriginal and swapped and late: Elflêgolâs.
  • Political statements of any kind: Nobama. Mclame. (Your political views are uninteresting in a game context.)
  • Jammed and talking to reader and swapped: Üçântsêêmê.

The order of these gets hairy in the middle and is to taste, although I feel pretty solid about the top and bottom.

Thanks to the readers who helped with ideas.

Did I forget anything? Is there a name worse than Üçântsêêmê?