Dec 24, 2008 
How to Paladin, how I miss you.
If you’re not aware, it’s a series of machinima on warcraftmovies by Stoker. He has thirty films, and it’s the same format every time:
- screenshots of hating-on-Stoker forums mixed with a starwarsy scroll of poorly spelled, self-mocking intro text
- four to six minutes of absolute inanity that is so incredible that your brain hurts at the end
What is absolute inanity? Trying to describe How to Paladin is like trying to describe love or the color blue or a car crash, and so is doomed to fail. I can describe the components, though:
- video played back at double or maybe triple speed
- music sped up accordingly, the same two or three songs on a loop
- A male blood elf paladin running
- aoe’ing everything down when possible, preferably passively
- jumping like it’s the only way to move
- jumping repeatedly upon his fallen enemies
- spinning–whether it’s his character or a flying mount or something else, he just loves spinning and flying loops
- arenas/battlegrounds/raids/instances/boss fights/dailies… whatever the most recent content is
- dancing, oh the dancing
- bubblehearthing elevated to an artform
If you’re going to try him out (for example, episode XXIX), please don’t give in after the first minute. Something in your brain breaks at around three or four minutes, and the secrets of the universe are laid bare. Or maybe you just go a little insane. Either way works.
How to Paladin might not be for you. I mean, I enjoyed Skeletor and Gang, too, and as far as I know, I’m the only one. (SAG10 and 12 for the win)
He stopped updating after Sunwell, I was hoping he’d pick back up after Wrath dropped, but he’s still gone. I miss him. In the meantime, I jump on my fallen enemies relentlessly.
Is there a possible substitute for How to Paladin? I’m asking, even though I strongly suspect that the answer is no. I know that with inlaws visiting for the holiday, I need amusement, the more insane and harmless the better.
1 Comment 
krizzlybear says: