Fools, Silence, and Damage Reporting

I healed through Mag­is­ter’s Ter­race this week­end to get a cou­ple of friend­ly guildies ready for MrT hero­ic. My wife, in the next room, said “What’s wrong?” I had­n’t even real­ized I sighed. “This new recruit just spammed his dam­age meters after our first wipe.”

I had for­got­ten about this lit­tle slice of the game. Of course, now my bliss­ful igno­rance has been shat­tered, but it’s a good top­ic of dis­cus­sion.

The fol­low­ing quote has no def­i­nite attri­bu­tion, but it’s good advice in gen­er­al:

“It is bet­ter to keep silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.”

In World of War­craft, this applies to dam­age meter report­ing. Every raid diag­nos­tic addon has a whisper/party/raid/guild broad­cast fea­ture. Who­ev­er first thought of that should be killed! Despite that, these raid diag­nos­tics and their abil­i­ty to broad­cast will exist forever­more and so: bet­ter to edu­cate.

What came about very short­ly after dam­ageme­ters-broad­cast was invent­ed was an eter­nal epeen con­test between the dps’ers in raids.

“Who can top the dam­age meters?! Let’s export the results to raid chat after every boss attempt! After every wipe! Every raid!”

This dam­ageme­ter wank­ing was so strong in my guild’s Molten Core days that some char­ac­ters would will­ful­ly skip the kill order just to have a longer unin­ter­rupt­ed dam­age stream on a tar­get. Luna­cy! Kill orders are crit­i­cal in group­ing. I’ll write more about it anoth­er time, but basi­cal­ly every­thing goes bet­ter when the dam­age deal­ers coor­di­nate efforts. How­ev­er, every class los­es dam­age out­put while switch­ing tar­gets: melee has to run between tar­gets, cast­ers have to build up debuffs or what­ev­er. It’s part of the game. But peo­ple were so wrapped up in epeen that they were actu­al­ly try­ing to win at that stu­pid meter more than they were try­ing to win at the events. They’d push dam­age so hard that they’d pull aggro and wipe the raid, over and over, just to stay on top of the epeen meter. (Not mul­ti­ple times in one raid, but once per raid) It was­n’t just one per­son; most of the dam­age deal­ers had been infect­ed by dam­ageme­ter epeen mad­ness.

I know that this was­n’t local to my guild, either. Every dps recruit had dam­ageme­ters, and they jumped right into the epeen con­test.

It took us months to stamp that out. (Actu­al­ly, most of those peo­ple left once TBC hit to form a hard­core raid­ing guild, which then nat­u­ral­ly implod­ed after six months and then scat­tered to the winds. Real-life friends were on non-speak­ing terms with each oth­er. Yay hard­core raid­ing! Lat­er, I receive a tell, “lol you’re still on Aran?” “Yes, but I did­n’t have to leave the serv­er, and my friends are still my friends, and we still laugh with each oth­er most every raid.”)

Any­way, I’ll speak for every heal­er and tank out there: nobody cares about your dps diag­nos­tics. I mean, you would­n’t want to see the fol­low­ing wipe out your chat box every few min­utes, right?

Recount PANTS ranking:
1) Tank: PANTS
2) DPS1: PANTS
3) DPS2: PANTS
4) DPS3: NO PANTS
5) Healer: NO PANTS

Heal­ing is best done with no pants, but I can’t speak for dps’ing. Would you want this spammed over your chat win­dow? Your answer is what heal­ers, tanks, and pro­gres­sion-mind­ed dps think every time some­one posts their epeen.

Vir­tu­al­ly every raid­ing guild had to suf­fer through this. Most of the ones that I know real­ized that epeen and pro­gres­sion were coun­ter­pro­duc­tive, and have some kind of pol­i­cy on epeen spam.

I’m not pick­ing on dps’ers, but I’ve only seen one heal­er ever spam heal­ing num­bers, and the rest of us whis­pered him so quick­ly that he could­n’t respond indi­vid­u­al­ly. “/ra Sor­ry!” Also, I’ve nev­er seen a tank spam a dam­age break­down. Maybe it’s some­thing about the team-ori­ent­ed mind­set that tanks and heal­ers must cul­ti­vate.

Also, this is noth­ing against raid diag­nos­tics. I love them! Install them. Learn what they’re telling you. Use that infor­ma­tion to improve your char­ac­ter. Dis­cuss what you find with your peers. It’s even use­ful to chal­lenge oth­er play­ers out­side of a raid set­ting, “War­locks, the mages/hunters/rogues are out­dam­ag­ing each of you by 40% per per­son, and yet you have equiv­a­lent gear. What’s going on?” This can all be use­ful. You might help some­one play bet­ter and have more fun! I per­son­al­ly use Recount and Recap every raid.

But have mer­cy. Keep your damn epeen out of my chat win­dow.

More Words!

One thought on “Fools, Silence, and Damage Reporting”

  1. This is also one of my pet hates. It is ok to have the dmg metres but keep them to your­self, use as a self help aid. Many dps’ers for­get that their dps is boost­ed by buffs from oth­er play­ers, they also for­get that to keep their own aggro down they will have to bring their dam­age down a notch. I may be 1 or 2% below your dps but i am not the one that the raid is com­plain­ing about dps­ing to ear­ly and tak­ing aggro. DPS’ers need to stop being so penisy.

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